FUCK: The Dictionary

I'm all about learning. Give me a chance and I'll learn circles around your ass. So, when it comes to expanding my knowledge base I turn to the internet. Google is the greatest innovation since peanut butter and jelly in the same squeezable container. But one of my favorite things to do is learn new words. For that, I turn to Dictionary.com.

Now, as any mature male would do, I began by typing in dirty words. Because, someone somewhere has to define these words with q modicum of civility and dignity. So, for example, I entered the word "fuck." Here is what Dictionary.com came up with:

fuck [fuhk]

-verb (used with object)
1. to have sexual intercourse with.
2. Slang. to treat unfairly or harshly.

–verb (used without object)
3. to have sexual intercourse.
4. Slang. to meddle (usually fol. by around or with).

–interjection
5. Slang. (used to express anger, disgust, peremptory rejection, etc., often fol. by a pronoun, as you or it.)

–noun
6. an act of sexual intercourse.
7. a partner in sexual intercourse.
8. Slang. a person, esp. one who is annoying or contemptible.
9. the fuck, Slang. (used as an intensifier, esp. with WH-questions, to express annoyance, impatience, etc.)

—Verb phrases
10. fuck around, Slang.
a.to behave in a frivolous or meddlesome way.
b.to engage in promiscuous sex.
11. fuck off, Slang.
a. to shirk one's duty; malinger.
b. go away: used as an exclamation of impatience.
c. to waste time.
12. fuck up, Slang.
a. to bungle or botch; ruin.
b. to act stupidly or carelessly; cause trouble; mess up. —Idiom
13. give a fuck, Slang. to care; be concerned.


Isn't that fun? You can type in any word you want! Some of my favorites include whore (verb: to consort with whores), shitty (adjective: wretchedly bad, miserable) and the gem among gems, cunt (noun: the vulva or vagina).

*If, after reading this, you are offended, please by all means go fuck yourself.

SIDENOTE: I've never understood how people can be so offended by words. Comedian George Carlin has a great bit on words and how they are "just words." Take, for example, the gold standard of "bad" words - cunt. As defined above the cunt is the "vulva or vagina." Would a woman be as offended if someone called her a "vagina?" How about a "vulva?" (I've heard that vulva's are very safe automobiles and have an average life span of 18 years!). So remember, the next time someone drops a dirty word on you, just shake it off and move on...you filthy gutter-slut.

sCrEaM jErK