Hug This!

This would be funny if it weren't so scary. A 14 year-old girl received detention at her school in Oregon for what school officials called a "lingering hug." The rule for acceptable hugging at Sky View Middle School in Bend is "quick hello and goodbye hugs." School officials are standing by their decision to punish this girl despite strong opposition from her mother.

Where is the justification in even having this rule to begin with? Are these back woods nut jobs afraid that a prolonged hug will some how allow the genitals to line up and result in uncontrollable hallway sex? Do you realize that someone in this country came up with this rule? There is actually a human being walking among us, breathing our oxygen, that used his or her time and energy and resources to establish this "lingering hug" policy.

Here are my three solutions for this ridiculousness:

1. Have basketball referees roaming the halls with stop watches. Anytime a hug commences the ref will start the clock. If the hug seems to "linger," the "huggers" will be given a room key at the local Super 8 (transportation included).

2. Oh, fuck it. You don't need any solutions for this problem because it isn't a problem. As long as these kids are hugging each other and not shooting each other, leave them alone!! Give them a condom on their lunch tray if you're worried about "signs of affection."

(*The above comments are assuming these kids are relatively good looking. Ugly kids should be separated from the hug and shipped to different schools in different states.)

NANCY PELOSI IS A BIG DUMB ANIMAL

Nancy Pelosi isn't fit to operate a toll booth in California let alone represent the State of California. Her current campaign of obstructionist governing is weakening this country more and more every day. Rather than provide a more sound alternative to the policy decisions of President Bush and his adminstration, she instead chooses to sit back and just keep saying NO.

This should come as no surprise to anyone since it has been the Democratic Party's main goal to halt any progress within this country as long as a Republican is in the White House. I want Nancy Pelosi to sit down and explain how she would protect Social Security, protect our nation and improve the quality of living for every American. But she can't.

Nancy Pelosi should be waiting tables at an Outback Steakhouse dressed like a safari guide instead of trying to shape policy in this country.

This witch with shoulder pads is killing the democratic process by refusing to work with her fellow politicians to actually achieve something. She is government gone wrong.

Now, I'm not suggesting that Pelosi is the only politician who believes in obstructing government. I would put Barbara Boxer, Harry Reid and even John Kerry in that category as well.

We need to seriously evaluate every politician (both Democrat and Republican) and ask the simple question, "What have you done for the average American today?" Not, "What have you done for illegal immigrants?" or "What have you done for the dirty bums sucking the breast of Mother Welfare?" It is time to hold our elected officials accountable for there choices and take back our representation.