"Goodbye, America" is a new segment on Scream Jerk that will focus on the most dispicable behavior that the United States has to offer. It is no coincidence that most of this behavior comes from the Left. But this isn't about politics. This is about the decay of common sense and reason in our country. This is about protecting yourself from the absurd in a world on the brink of complete destruction. Everytime you see the "Goodbye, America" logo you'll know that you're about to read something that will most likely make you throw up all over yourself. So, consider this your warning.

WHY MUSLIM WOMEN SHOULDN'T WORK AT TARGET

On March 14, 2007 StarTribune.com reported that a Muslim woman working at a Target in Minneapolis refused to scan bacon while working the register. In fact, she asked the customer to scan it and put it in the bag for her. Now, I'm all for the self-service lane at the local supermarket but when someone is paid American dollars to ring you up and send you on your way, that's exactly what they should do. Why is a Muslim woman even working at Target anyway? Shouldn't she be at home secretly taking on-line business courses as a means to escape the her oppressive husband?

Which makes me think - if a Muslim woman won't scan pork, what's next? A Jew won't put meat and milk in the same plastic bag? A Christian won't scan thong underwear? Do we really want to open up this can of worms?

If I was the manager of this particular Target I would fire this woman on the spot. Not for religious reasons (although some snake lawyer would try to make a case) but because she wasn't doing her job. If you can't do the job, you can't work here. Period, end of story.

The only other alternative would be to take her into the breakroom, remove her hijab, hold her down to the ground and stuff bacon-wrapped pork chops down her throat until she had the National Anthem memorized. How's that for patriotism you scarf wearing bimbo?

This is only the beginning. You have been warned, Amercia. Goodbye.

Would You Vote For This "BUNDLE OF STICKS?"

If you've read previous entries at Scream Jerk you know that I don't like to judge. I am a fair, honest and rational human being who believes in free speech and human rights.

But why in the hell would anyone cast a vote for John freakin' Edwards? Is it that whole "two Americas" crap that he preaches? If so, it should be brought to your attention that while he's out and about campaigning about how America has become "the rich and everyone else," he is currently picking out bathroom tile and fine Italian silks for his 28,000 square foot home. Now, I'm not going to take anything away from his financial success. It takes a special kind of person to manipulate and piss on the legal system to make a fortune. Congrats Johnnie!

This past week, the reigning tramp of Conservative values, Ann Coulter, made a comment in which she referred to John Edwards as a "faggot." Edwards, along with many others, were apparently offended at this rather obnoxious reference to a "bundle of sticks" and decried the comment by Coulter as "wildly inappropriate."

Jim Rainbow, founder of the Faggot Institute in San Francisco, released the following comment to the press on Sunday:

Ms. Coulter's comments referring to Mr. Edwards as a "faggot" are baseless
and false. While Mr. Edwards may walk, talk and act like a "faggot" he is
clearly not a bundle of sticks. It is insulting to twigs and branches
every where that such a reference could equated to a self-righteous snake
like Mr. Edwards.

Scream Jerk made several attempts to contact both Ann Coulter and John Edwards but were unable to locate either phone number.

SJ

FUCK: The Dictionary

I'm all about learning. Give me a chance and I'll learn circles around your ass. So, when it comes to expanding my knowledge base I turn to the internet. Google is the greatest innovation since peanut butter and jelly in the same squeezable container. But one of my favorite things to do is learn new words. For that, I turn to Dictionary.com.

Now, as any mature male would do, I began by typing in dirty words. Because, someone somewhere has to define these words with q modicum of civility and dignity. So, for example, I entered the word "fuck." Here is what Dictionary.com came up with:

fuck [fuhk]

-verb (used with object)
1. to have sexual intercourse with.
2. Slang. to treat unfairly or harshly.

–verb (used without object)
3. to have sexual intercourse.
4. Slang. to meddle (usually fol. by around or with).

–interjection
5. Slang. (used to express anger, disgust, peremptory rejection, etc., often fol. by a pronoun, as you or it.)

–noun
6. an act of sexual intercourse.
7. a partner in sexual intercourse.
8. Slang. a person, esp. one who is annoying or contemptible.
9. the fuck, Slang. (used as an intensifier, esp. with WH-questions, to express annoyance, impatience, etc.)

—Verb phrases
10. fuck around, Slang.
a.to behave in a frivolous or meddlesome way.
b.to engage in promiscuous sex.
11. fuck off, Slang.
a. to shirk one's duty; malinger.
b. go away: used as an exclamation of impatience.
c. to waste time.
12. fuck up, Slang.
a. to bungle or botch; ruin.
b. to act stupidly or carelessly; cause trouble; mess up. —Idiom
13. give a fuck, Slang. to care; be concerned.


Isn't that fun? You can type in any word you want! Some of my favorites include whore (verb: to consort with whores), shitty (adjective: wretchedly bad, miserable) and the gem among gems, cunt (noun: the vulva or vagina).

*If, after reading this, you are offended, please by all means go fuck yourself.

SIDENOTE: I've never understood how people can be so offended by words. Comedian George Carlin has a great bit on words and how they are "just words." Take, for example, the gold standard of "bad" words - cunt. As defined above the cunt is the "vulva or vagina." Would a woman be as offended if someone called her a "vagina?" How about a "vulva?" (I've heard that vulva's are very safe automobiles and have an average life span of 18 years!). So remember, the next time someone drops a dirty word on you, just shake it off and move on...you filthy gutter-slut.

sCrEaM jErK