As of today, January 25, 2007, over 3000 American troops have died in Iraq. While the motives for the war remain in question and the tactical plans that have been utilized have been inadequate at best, one thing remains absolutely certain: We can not ask our military to go to war on our nation's behalf and put themselves in harms way and not provide them with the tools necessary to accomplish the mission (whatever that is) and do it swiftly and safely. So with every hour that passes and for every dead soldier that comes home in a box the pressure to equip our troops with the most advanced fighting tools because ever greater.
Recently, the United States military introduced there latest weapon - a ray gun. Now, before you put on your rubber Spock ears or do a bad Shatner impression, take the look at the picture to the left. No, you don't get 600 channels of DirecTV with that Hummer. But with this giant apparatus you could give someone the impression that they were hot - and not hot as in "Hey baby, you're smokin'". But hot like "Your fuckin' hair is on fire, honey."
This new ray gun, which I will refer to as Ray, shoots an electromagnetic beam at the target (i.e. an Iraqi) and gives them the feeling that they're going to catch fire. The weapon is supposedly "harmless" and creates the sensation of heat on the body reaching 130 degrees. So, for the last five years, the best the US military could come up with to protect our troops and win the war on terror is to make the enemy feel like they're in Arizona in August.
How about a weapon that actually sets the enemy on fire, instead of just making them feel that way? It makes me wonder what other weapons the military will be introducing on the battlefield. How about a bomb that emits a gas that fills the enemy with resentment towards their parents? Or a mission that explodes on impact and releases live recordings from the last Madonna tour?
Our boys need weapons that kill, damn it!
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