A young intern recently hired by Scream Jerk to investigate the Bush administration's response time to the victims of Hurricane Katrina has stumbled upon information that may prove that George Bush is solely responsible for the death of Bob Denver, TV's Gilligan.
In a recent memo that turned up in the young intern's backpack, a high ranking official tells another high ranking official that Bush "despised" Denver and couldn't understand why the other "castaways" didn't just "kill" him every time he screwed up the many rescue attempts.
The memo further describes Bush's downright hatred for the Professor who he labels "booksmart."
These latest allegations could be the straw that broke the camels back as Democrats will likely call for Bush's impeachment.
"Gilligan is the backbone of the Democratic Party. He represented the future of our party and it is an outrage that something like this has happened to such a pillar of the community," said Patrick Leahy, before collapsing into the arms of a teary-eyed Hilary Rodham Clinton.
"If these allegations are proved to be true," said Clinton," then George Bush has set the progress of our great nation back days. He tricked us into Iraq and he tricked us into believing that Bob Denver was old and had cancer. Shame on you, Mr. Bush!"
The White House has denied any wrong-doing in the death of Bob Denver. A White House spokesman told Scream Jerk, "Gilligan was just the Skipper's 'little buddy.' If anyone deserved to be whacked it was that dip-shit Professor who couldn't fix the hole in the fucking boat."
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