Actor Chris Penn was found dead in his apartment this past week and a recent autopsy proved "inconclusive." Penn, who was best known for his role as...um...when he played that guy...um...oh, fuck it. He was Sean Penn's brother.
During the course of the investigation into his death the police learned that Penn had what Richard Simmon's would classify as "poor eating habits." In one sitting he was known to polish off several milk shakes and plenty of beer while munching on as many as five steaks. The autopsy revealed nothing out of the ordinary except for an incredibly large ass.
No really, I know he was in some movie. Star Wars? Hoosiers? The Ten Commandments? Oh, whatever!
The Penn family is asking for privacy during these very difficult times. Donations can be made in Chris' name to the "Children Without A Sizzler Nearby" Foundation.
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1 comment:
son of a bitch
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