JOAN RIVERS IS A FILTHY WHORE

Consider this an act of kindness. My fellow blogger, Lorrie Morgan-Ferrero recently posted some valuable information about the importance of headlines. I will now attempt to contribute my thoughts on the very same subject.

1. First and foremost, Joan Rivers may not be a filthy whore, but it sure got your attention. So, for the purposes of this article we will consider Joan Rivers a filthy whore.

2. I have chosen to use all capital letters in my headline to emphasize the whore-ness of Joan Rivers. This will draw the reader into the story.

3. By using the word "filthy" I am implying that there may be details within the story that describe the degree of whore-ness portrayed by Joan Rivers. Again, roping the reader in.

4. Shit. Lorrie is now suggesting that I use smaller type to prevent readers from just scanning the material. She could have mentioned this earlier.

5. Graphic images are suggested to help bring attention to the story. For the sake of humanity I will not use nude or partially nude pictures of Joan Rivers. But if you must have a visual - picture a wet poodle trying to hump a lawn chair.

6. Lorrie goes on to mention the importance of subheads. I really have nothing to say about that other than the word "subhead" is pretty amusing.

In the interest of capitalism I will help Lorrie promote her new software "Instant Headline Creator" which is available at www.red-hot-copy.com/instantheadlines.htm If you are copywriter buy this software and make yourself better at what you do.

And finally, while Joan Rivers is extremely small, very annoying and hasn't said anything funny since 1988, she certainly can't be considered a filthy whore just because I said so. Now, her daughter on the other hand...